At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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