Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize