I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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