well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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