If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
