How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
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It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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