Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
