I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Randomize
