First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
