It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
