There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
no, he came in my armpit
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
