so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
