i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize