I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize