Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
