Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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