So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
