i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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