How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
