Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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