I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
