Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
