ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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