The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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