It's Friday. Sex?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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