im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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