was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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