uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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