We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
