Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
