bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
