I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you made out with another girl for some wings
We need to get me chipped asap
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
