She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
