I hate all girls vehemently.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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