What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
