Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
