Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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