FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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