Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
