...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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