Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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