...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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