hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
