even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Randomize
