Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
