dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
