I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
