I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
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It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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