your room smells of hookers.
And success
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
