my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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