Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
