420 ftw
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I need water and some morals
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
