Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
