If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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