Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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