I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
