You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
we're so committed to being not committed
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
