I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
