Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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